17/01/09…it's still weird…
Por Michele Saqui
É estranho lidar com a falsidade, coisas falsas…puts, the weirdest thing ever, and I feel the naivest person in the world for sometimes to believe in people I shouldn’t.
I’m still trying to get over the last happenings, but people who know me, know that I take some time to do it. It was always like this…I guess It’s always gonna be.
Why? That’s a question I hate to have in my mind cause I cannot arrive anywhere with it.
Today I watched Jane Austen Book Club, o good movie, and Gosh, I felt so like one of the characters in there. I wish I could build a shield around me, but if I did it, I wouldn’t live…so what are my options?
I miss things I didn’t have…how crazy is this??? hahaha, well, I just felt like in high school with my platonic loves…I missed what I never had had. My friends used to say it was better than to have the thing and lose it, but I still dunno about it. Somehow they were right, but never having it’s a difficult thing to deal with too.
Daydreaming, daydreaming…
And today I missed so much someone to talk to me in English…I guess it’s because of that I started in Portuguese and changed without seeing to English here.
Well, I guess I’m going back to my reading…I do need romance right now.
Oh, today I dreamed about a guy I used to like in first grade hehehe…Fagner was his name. I never told it to anybody cause one of my best friends used to like him, or at least tell that she liked, so I prefered to be out of the situation. I would never catch the guy my friend liked with many of them everywhere. But today when I woke up I wondered where this guy is now…maybe, well, more than maybe, it’s almost right he is somewhere married and with a kid like most of the people that studied with me…
Life is funny sometimes….cruel sometimes…but mostly life is predictable, at least for people around me…
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I really should not make any remarks here since I do not know you. But, I would not be myself if I could resist to every temptation that shows up in life and, for the records, I do have lots and lots of experience with people. Therefore, I will make the remark, whether you are going to read it or simply throw away like everything else you do not like. It seems to me you are not naive. You are simply to afraid of putting yourself at stake and take chances. It is like having someone’s email address and never write the person a message just because you cannot predict how he or she will behave. It is also intriguing how you can, simultaneously, be grown up enough to read interesting books and make interesting comparisons and remarks about what you read (or, when music is on the stage, what you listen to) and still behave like a teenager showing to the world how good it would be to have someone famous by your side…. as if anyone could really know something about a public person…Maybe it is time for you to make your mind about which world you are going to be into… At your age, I would strongly recommend to leave the teenage temptations behind…I very much appreciate you, despite of the already annouced lack of personal knowledge. So please, take it as a very friendly and kind advice and just hit the "del" button if you do not want to hear about or other people to read it. Should you want to go deeper, you’ve got my email addresss..